I knew I was in trouble before I even opened my eyes this morning.
You know the drill: the nausea, stiff neck...and the ax stuck through your skull, piercing the frontal lobe of your brain...
And we are in the middle of what can only be described as a monsoon. Torrential horizontal rain.
Great knitting weather. If only...
The kids had to be at school by 8, and the rain showed no sign of slowing, so we slodged out to the truck. It isn't very far to school, but I hate to have them sit there all morning, wet and chilled.
File into the truck, put it in reverse, look in rear view window...and there's something white and LARGE looming in the mirror.
I scream. (migraine + no coffee on board + 4 hours of sleep = odd reactions)
Both Things scream, because I do not normally scream, so it must require screaming in unison.
Now head feels reeeeally good. Throb, throb, throb.
I jump out of the truck, and see this:
Oh, man. This could be a problem.
We pushed, we pulled, we tugged, I cried, they whined.
And all the while...throb, throb, throb.
There we were, out in the middle of the street; I, in my nightie, with no raincoat, and no brassiere....
and the Things going to be late for school...
I stopped to think.
Options. What are my options here?
1. Have kids walk to school, and leave the blessed mess AS IS. (the fact that the road was completely blocked didn't taint this option at all. In the back of my mind, I thought this would work to my favor as I'd have help from passers-by getting this faux paus covered up before The Big Guy saw it...)
2. Send a kid next door to grab Mikey, who would surely help me hide the incriminating evidence of my stellar driving skills. (I may have been here before...)
Oops. pj's/no bra.
Cancel this one.
3. Send a kid across the street, where I see a red car, which means Jeremy might be home. However, it is nearly 8am. If Jeremy IS home, he is very likely still in bed, where all normal people should be at this hour.
Hmmm, but Katie very recently commented on Jeremy's 'morning person' disposition...so maybe he is up and about...
Crap. pj's/bra thing.
4. Gravity, my constant companion, may actually help me out here. In the same manner it causes me to continuously fall on my face, le boat could also fall out of the truck...the rest of the way.
Yes! We have a winner!
Stand Back!, I yelled. Mama's got an idea!
The Things, by this time, are in hysterics, laughing. Thing Two could barely breathe.
I needed both Things' help pushing that boat back up into the bed of the truck. That sucker was full of rainwater and weighed a ton.
(Meanwhile I'm having palpitations at the thought of crushing one or both of these kids with a boat. How'm I gonna explain that one?)
We got it back up, with herculean effort.
Throb, throb, throb.
I considered just leaving it be and driving them to school, but then I remembered Heartbreak Hill, which I would have to climb to get home again. No way was that boat going to remain in position if I dumped it backing out of my almost- level driveway!
With slack in the line, I was able to untie the boat. Now how am I going to get it out?
I looked at the two kids. Not much help there.
I ordered them back in the truck, out of the rain.
I got in the truck, too.
Weeeell, I s'pose...
I'm just gonna dump 'er, I said. I see no other choice.
Ever hear of a 'Neutral Drop'?
(Mechanics everywhere are wincing right now.)
DO NOT pass this info on the The Big Guy. Remember our motto, "What happens on the island STAYS on the island"!
I carefully backed down to the steepest (ha) part of my driveway, put the truck in neutral, goosed the gas a tich, and dropped the shifter into drive.
The truck shot forward, and that boat slid gracefully right to the ground.
(Yeah. That's what it did.)
Worked like a charm.
Woo- hoo! And the crowd goes wild, as ace driver Marissa Andretti saves the day....
That is one rugged 8 year old, let me tell ya.
We hauled the boat over to the side of the road and went on our merry way. Thing Two was still belly-laughing when we got to school, and I knew right then I had not a hope in Hell of keeping this incident on the Down Low.
Driving myself back home, I began to get an uneasy feeling.
He's gonna have a fit when he sees this.
Maybe it's off the road enough that he won't notice it. Maybe I can get Jay or Chris to help me move it before he gets home.
Look, you can't even see it. We must've gotten it way over into the brush...
Oh. Or not.
Mmmm. Definitely going to notice that.
Oh, yeah. There's no covering this one up.
It is what it is.
I went inside, drenched to the skin, for much needed coffee and Excedrine Migraine.
Nine of 'em. 3600mg of caff-pow. Plus coffee.
cue theme from Rocky...Flyin' high now.......
A bit later I heard the unmistakable sound of The Big Guy driving up the hill.
Check this out- wrapped separately in tissue paper...
Clearly a hold-over from my too-close-to-Revere-big-haired- glitzy-rhinestone- studded -Boston days, I am always drawn to the shiny, sparkly, bling-y stuff. I kept this out on display for a week, so I could pet it. Then the cat discovered it and I had to put it up.
Another prize from long ago...March 30th! (I shudder to think of what these people are thinking of me. I found this list of posts that never got done when I cleared off that desk. Egads.)
From KnittinDiva, (also here, on etsy- but Dudes, stay away from that coffee bean, 'cause I've got my eye on it...) at www.bbknits.com (Beyond Basic Knits. Very cool. Check out the Toe-tally Tonals, my current obsession.)
She had a contest. I won.
This has been whispering what it wants to be lately.
I'm ignoring it because I have that b-day pressie to finish. The one I haven't touched.
The Shetland Trader- I just recently found Gudrun. And I'm secretly thrilled that she's moving to Massachusetts, where I may have the potential of meeting her. Awesome designs, with her Scottish heritage shining through.
Turtle- Great knits...but really, it's all about the cats. So much fun!
Miss T- Brassy and outspoken in the best way, she has great knits, great yarn, and great recipes!
Passing Down Crazy-Maria, another lace master. And truly crazy...5 kids, some of whom she home schools, yet has time to quilt like a madwoman, knit, and sew. And her lace? Oh! Her lace! I love her because she is up all hours like I am. If I email her at 3am, she answers right back. Crazy!
Go check 'em all out, and report back to me. Go. Go!
And, finally, The Frenchboro Bakery website is about to get a new 'do.
I had something like 3 days to get that website up and functional. Nightmare.
Now that I've had some time (What??), I've been able to work on it.
I still can't say it's fun, this web-design stuff, but it's better than a root canal.
Go forth, my friends, be fruitful, and multiply.
Be careful when you stand up...I've had you sitting on your butts reading for so long, you may get light-headed. I don't want anybody getting hurt.
A slightly crazy, sort-of-stay-at-home-mom of 2, obsessive compulsive knitter who is married to a Commercial Lobsterman, and all the fun that goes with that!
I live on an island eight miles out to sea. A very, very small island.
What does a Boston-born city girl do while marooned on Maine island year round?
My response is to raise a couple of kids, cook like a fiend, take on every charitable position available, and have fun!
Here's a peek at our crazy life on this rock in the middle of nowhere, Maine!
Frenchboro is one of 14 islands off the coast of Maine that can boast year round residents. There are 31 of us alleged adults here this winter, plus 16 kids under thirteen.
We have a K-8 one- room Schoolhouse, a Library, a church, and a Contracted Post Office. Yes, we get mail 6 days a week! We are able to travel to the mainland 3 times a week (weather permitting), but you may only travel in one direction-on or off.
All content, photos, and words (and their illogical misuse, intentional and otherwise) are copyrighted by Marissa Rozenski. If you use any of it in any way, please let me know about it, and give proper attribution. Please respect the copyright. Thanks for playing!