Friday, June 12, 2009

One day, on an island in Maine

I knew I was in trouble before I even opened my eyes this morning.

You know the drill: the nausea, stiff neck...and the ax stuck through your skull, piercing the frontal lobe of your brain...

And we are in the middle of what can only be described as a monsoon. Torrential horizontal rain.
Great knitting weather. If only...

The kids had to be at school by 8, and the rain showed no sign of slowing, so we slodged out to the truck. It isn't very far to school, but I hate to have them sit there all morning, wet and chilled.

File into the truck, put it in reverse, look in rear view window...and there's something white and LARGE looming in the mirror.
I scream. (migraine + no coffee on board + 4 hours of sleep = odd reactions)

Both Things scream, because I do not normally scream, so it must require screaming in unison.

Now head feels reeeeally good. Throb, throb, throb.

I jump out of the truck, and see this:

Oh, man. This could be a problem.

We pushed, we pulled, we tugged, I cried, they whined. 
And all the while...throb, throb, throb.
There we were, out in the middle of the street; I, in my nightie, with no raincoat, and no brassiere....

and the Things going to be late for school...

I stopped to think.
Options. What are my options here?
1. Have kids walk to school, and leave the blessed mess AS IS. (the fact that the road was completely blocked didn't taint this option at all. In the back of my mind, I thought this would work to my favor as I'd have help from passers-by getting this faux paus covered up before The Big Guy saw it...)
2. Send a kid next door to grab Mikey, who would surely help me hide the incriminating evidence of my stellar driving skills. (I may have been here before...)
Oops. pj's/no bra.
Cancel this one.
3. Send a kid across the street, where I see a red car, which means Jeremy might be home. However, it is nearly 8am. If Jeremy IS home, he is very likely still in bed, where all normal people should be at this hour.
Hmmm, but Katie very recently commented on Jeremy's 'morning person' maybe he is up and about...
Crap. pj's/bra thing.
4. Gravity, my constant companion, may actually help me out here. In the same manner it causes me to continuously fall on my face, le boat could also fall out of the truck...the rest of the way.

Yes! We have a winner!

Stand Back!, I yelled. Mama's got an idea!
The Things, by this time, are in hysterics, laughing. Thing Two could barely breathe.

I needed both Things' help pushing that boat back up into the bed of the truck. That sucker was full of rainwater and weighed a ton.
(Meanwhile I'm having palpitations at the thought of crushing one or both of these kids with a boat. How'm I gonna explain that one?)
We got it back up, with herculean effort.
Throb, throb, throb.

I considered just leaving it be and driving them to school, but then I remembered Heartbreak Hill, which I would have to climb to get home again. No way was that boat going to remain in position if I dumped it backing out of my almost- level driveway!

With slack in the line, I was able to untie the boat. Now how am I going to get it out?
I looked at the two kids. Not much help there.
I ordered them back in the truck, out of the rain.
I got in the truck, too.
Weeeell, I s'pose...
I'm just gonna dump 'er, I said. I see no other choice.

Ever hear of a 'Neutral Drop'?
(Mechanics everywhere are wincing right now.)

DO NOT pass this info on the The Big Guy. Remember our motto, "What happens on the island STAYS on the island"!
I carefully backed down to the steepest (ha) part of my driveway, put the truck in neutral, goosed the gas a tich, and dropped the shifter into drive.
The truck shot forward, and that boat slid gracefully right to the ground.
 (Yeah. That's what it did.
Worked like a charm.
Woo- hoo! And the crowd goes wild, as ace driver Marissa Andretti saves the day....
That is one rugged 8 year old, let me tell ya.

We hauled the boat over to the side of the road and went on our merry way. Thing Two was still belly-laughing when we got to school, and I knew right then I had not a hope in Hell of keeping this incident on the Down Low.
Ah, well.

Driving myself back home, I began to get an uneasy feeling.
He's gonna have a fit when he sees this.

Maybe it's off the road enough that he won't notice it. Maybe I can get Jay or Chris to help me move it before he gets home. 
Look, you can't even see it. We must've gotten it way over into the brush...
Oh. Or not.
Mmmm. Definitely going to notice that.

Oh, yeah. There's no covering this one up
It is what it is.

I went inside, drenched to the skin, for much needed coffee and Excedrine Migraine. 
Nine of 'em. 3600mg of caff-pow. Plus coffee.
cue theme from Rocky...Flyin' high now.......

A bit later I heard the unmistakable sound of The Big Guy driving up the hill.
coming around the corner, VVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRR, 
aaaand coming upon the boat, v  v  v  v  r  r  r  r...

Well, there's something ya don't see every day.

Does he look mad?

What's wrong with this picture?
Caption: A Fish Out Of Water

Know what? He hasn't said a word about it.



Now, I've got all sorts of stuff backlogged to tell you about, and I'm going to take full advantage of this caffeine high and do it all in one day.
Know that my original plan was to do this one at a time, in order to give greater impact to each of these great things.
But caffeine highs like this one don't come around every day. I'm just going with it.

I have been blessed with many things lately.

First up, a drop spindle kit, won in a contest on Darcy's blog on (yikes) April 16th. The kit is from Extreme Spinning, and it ROCKS!

Oh, I loves me some sheep fur!
Check this out- wrapped separately in tissue paper...
Oh, my.
Clearly a hold-over from my too-close-to-Revere-big-haired- glitzy-rhinestone- studded -Boston days, I am always drawn to the shiny, sparkly, bling-y stuff. I kept this out on display for a week, so I could pet it. Then the cat discovered it and I had to put it up.

Love it.

Another prize from long ago...March 30th! (I shudder to think of what these people are thinking of me. I found this list of posts that never got done when I cleared off that desk. Egads.)
From KnittinDiva, (also here, on etsy- but Dudes, stay  away from that coffee bean, 'cause I've got my eye on it...) at  (Beyond Basic Knits. Very cool. Check out the Toe-tally Tonals, my current obsession.) 
She had a contest. I won.
This has been whispering what it wants to be lately.
I'm ignoring it because I have that b-day pressie to finish. The one I haven't touched.

It keeps whispering beads...

And on April 28th, I won 1000 business cards from, 
through Kelly at Almost Frugal!

Perfect timing, too, as I was getting the Bakery off the ground.
This was a perfectly painless procedure, really easy to do, and they proofed my cards before shipping. 

Tell me, does this remind you of coffee, or caramel? 
pic bus card

They'll print front and back.
Seriously, could there BE any more information on there? 
Everything but my weight and bra size. (Never. Ever.)

Oops, already changed my Twitter name: MaineMoxie. It will probably change again.
Don't tell Nicole. I'm going to give that girl a drinking problem.

Why are you just hearing about these now??
Because the Oprah Show aired our Frenchboro segment on the 29th of April.
This all took place around that time.
Seriously, I am just now realizing how much time that took up. Wow.

I'm sorry Oprah, but it will never work out between us. 
Island life has spoiled me, and I can never again match the pace you city-mice set.
I think you'll get by without me. Pretty sure.

Missing from this list is a gift from Amy Boogie. I ordered some indescribably beautiful lace- weight, and when I got it in the mail, she'd stuck a gift skein in there!
I remember sneaking it into the house, away from The Big Guy's ever-watchful eye, and for the life of me, I can't remember where I hid it. I've got to do a full-out search.
I will post pictures when I find it (I've added it to my List); I know I didn't take pictures that day.

Marie Grace honored me with the title of One Of The Blogs She Really Likes.
Now, I need to share the love, and name off some of my favorites.
Whoo boy. I am almost embarrassed to say I follow skim read over 300 blogs. 
And I can only pick 7 ? No Way.
My first thought was to just publish my list from Google Reader. But it's sort of cheating, isn't it?

This was really, really hard. There should be sooo many more. I picked them out of a hat.

A Friend To Knit With- Very down to earth, and great knits. And cookies!

The Rainey Sisters- Artists. unbelievable. Check out the Henry VIII! And the Kauni!

Earthchick- What a riot! She created my very favorite, most lusted after lace creation. I want to know what she uses on her hair. And you should see her boys!

Smoking Hot Needles- Monika. A master. Check out her spinning, but her knitting will blow you away, too.

Maple Corners- Annie. Unbelievable photography, and a beautiful person. She raises alpacas, and her Mom. She's into a peg loom right now that is pretty cool.

Tiennie- The master of the multiple. In another life she may have been the Octomom.

Loving Comfort Knits- Grace. Master of lace. A very prolific knitter. I am in awe.

The Shetland Trader- I just recently found Gudrun. And I'm secretly thrilled that she's moving to Massachusetts, where I may have the potential of meeting her. Awesome designs, with her  Scottish heritage shining through.

Turtle- Great knits...but really, it's all about the cats. So much fun!

Miss T- Brassy and outspoken in the best way, she has great knits, great yarn, and great recipes!

Not so Fancy Nancy- Her knits, and her quilts will Blow Your Mind. Outstanding!

Passing Down Crazy-Maria, another lace master. And truly crazy...5 kids, some of whom she home schools, yet has time to quilt like a madwoman, knit, and sew. And her lace? Oh! Her lace! I love her because she is up all hours like I am. If I email her at 3am, she answers right back. Crazy!

Go check 'em all out, and report back to me. Go. Go!

And, finally, The Frenchboro Bakery website is about to get a new 'do.
I had something like 3 days to get that website up and functional. Nightmare.
Now that I've had some time (What??), I've been able to work on it.
I still can't say it's fun, this web-design stuff, but it's better than a root canal.

Go forth, my friends,  be fruitful, and multiply.
Be careful when you stand up...I've had you sitting on your butts reading for so long, you may get light-headed. I don't want anybody getting hurt.


  1. Wow, talk about a bad morning. You win that contest, hands down!

  2. Wow!!! What a day on that island in Maine ;) Pretty yarns and fibers there :) The cards, both coffee and caramel!

  3. OMG Marissa! What a day for you. Are you sure you don't have 4 arms to get things done? I can just see you in your lingeree (I use that word loosely) in the rain pulling a boat and taking these hillarious pictures. I almost peed myself envisioning this comedy stit between you and The Things.
    Speaking of caramel, I've ordered my caramels from you but you can take your time filling the order because you are one multi-tasking Mama. :)

  4. I think you should contact TLC and have your own reality show ... Look out John & Kate here come Riss ...

  5. "Alice" sure does get around. Perhaps she could get lost at sea?

  6. It is so nice to know I am not the only one with crazypants mornings like that! You know what? Kudos to you for still taking them to school - that plus a migraine and I probably would've given up!!!!! Seriously that ordeal is tops for bad starts to the day!!!

  7. Waking up with a migraine, and then the boat... I think I would've left the truck in the road and crawled back into bed... good for you!

  8. Wow! I knew that no bra, pajama thing would bite me in the butt someday, but it won't top that one!

  9. no bra Pj's must have had a bad incident with that in a previous life because the second my eyes open and i get out of the shower I am fully dressed just in case, even If I am sick or never plan to leave the house---in the same token, the minute we are in for the night said bra and stuff are off for the night, tom can get the door etc. Thanks for the mention on one of the best blog posts I have read.

  10. This post really made me laugh, (I was feeling a little sorry for myself, I'm smiling now). The boat escapade was soooo funny! Great yarn too. I'll have to check out some of the other blogs soon. I can't believe all the contests you've won, you seem to be very lucky.

  11. I'll echo everybody's comments here and say that I read this post with a huge grin on my face. On top of everything, thanks for getting out the camera and blogging about it! That would have been the LAST thing I would have thought of! Love the business card! And I added you to my twitter feed to get my Frenchboro-fix!