Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Birds and The Bees

This book was dropped off on my doorstep a couple of days ago.

As it was a children's book, and seemed way too young for my 8 and 10 year olds,  I skimmed through it.

Then I fainted, revived, and fainted again.

I'll share a few highlights:


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Please note the 'aged hippie' look of the father in the cover photo. Let's just lay all the blame there, shall we?


Moving on, here's where I fainted the first time.

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They're just so obscenely proud of it, you know? Why is that?

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I'm sure I have a comment about how once again, male genitalia are portrayed vs. female genitalia, and how women's bodies are shameful while men's are glorified, but I'm blushing violently and cannot vocalize it properly. Pass the smelling salts, I think I'm going down again!


But, wait!
Here's the BEST PART!

And from the book, I quote:
     Here are some ways Mommies and Daddies fit together:
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Is that a frickin' skateboard?????



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Ahem, there was this one time...we were having difficulty conceiving, and Linda The Marvelous Midwife said......
But NO. They have a BALL in play. Definitely NOT LIKE THAT.

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Hello! Balloons!!
Points for the illustrator of this one. Check out her glorious smile...and HIS face.
Not sure the kids would pick up on that statement, but if I were a different person, I'd hang this on my living room wall, with the caption 'It ain't all about YOU!'...but, NO.
(Maybe in the Post Office???)
Also...I will never look at a balloon the same again.

And this one has me completely befuddled. And a little scared.
I am no longer sure which one is the Mommy and which is the Daddy. And frankly I'm a bit worried abut that handle placement.
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Is that a Hippity-Hop????

I'm off to call the Big Guy. He's got some 'splaining to do.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Happy Time!

The kids are out of school for the summer, and we've thrown the schedule OUT THE WINDOW!

Gnomeo and Juliet at 10:30 on a Monday night??? Sure!

Dinner at 8:30 three nights in a row??? Why not!

Welcome to summer at my house.

And here's our new catch phrase...because unlike the other 2-word phrase that starts with an 'F' and ends with 'you', this one you could say right to people's faces without repercussion.
You know, if you were so inclined.



Happy Time!!!

Happy Summering, folks!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

WASSUP???

What have we been up to, in our little Hamlet by the Sea??

Oh, a little bit o' this, and a little bit o' that.

And THIS:

THE BIGGEST THING TO HIT THIS ISLAND IN 14 YEARS.

I am speechless. And that's saying something.

Special thanks to Tammy DesJardin (without speculating aloud what she did to finally get this trip added), who joined the Ferry Advisory board only two short years ago to represent Frenchboro, and also to the Maine State DOT, Swan's Islanders (who, unfortunately, must sacrifice two trips a month- we are most grateful!), and the other members of the Ferry Advisory board.

I owe you guys one.