He's a classic

When the Things were little, we had the beginnings of The Talk.

hmm, yes, the beginnings.

Historically, my family does not do well with The Talk. One of my sisters is still waiting for my Mother to give her The Talk. 

She's married 17 years, and has 3 kids. 

I couldn't wait to rub it in her face tell her that I got the beginnings of The Talk...the night before I got married. I was 25. I had a degree in Radiologic Technology, and had worked in the field for 7 years. I had a pretty good grasp of things by then. My Mother started naming body parts. I handed her a bottle of wine and told her to quit while she was ahead. She was thankful not to have incriminated herself any further.

The Big Guy and I  tried for three years to get pregnant. (This is way NOT as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

When, finally, I was pregnant, do you want to know the very first thing I said?

My mouth went dry, and I said, Oh my God, my Father's going to know we had sex.

We were married 6 years.

So, in keeping with tradition, I kept my  'talk' with my kids general and vague.

We have our 'code words' for the...parts. Some are Italian. They sound better that way.

But, the kids couldn't pronounce them right (as if anyone around here would know), and they would point... or worse, expose...

I changed tactics, and just labeled everything 'private parts'.

'nuff said.

And all was right with the world...until Thing Two started calling them favorite parts.

I have some work to do.