Wednesday, October 1, 2008

...and really bad eggs

I must share this little slice of my life. Yesterday I thought I'd play Mother Of The Year, and make my kids eggs for lunch (you know, since I'm not a morning person, and I refuse to make them eggs for breakfast. Don't give me that look! There's nothing wrong with oatmeal! And, in my defense, I usually make brunch on Sundays.).

I threw some nice chopped ham in a pan with a bit of butter... mmm, can you smell that?
I took my eggs out of the fridge. I picked up one that had some brown spots on the shell, 'cause I always use the ugly ones first...
and I cracked it into a bowl.
Only something wasn't quite right.
When the shell cracked, some water splashed on my hand. Water. Not egg white.
In a split second, I dropped the egg (into the bowl, thank goodness).
And the rest of the shell broke apart.
And as the sight registered in my brain, the smell hit me.
Oh God, the memory of it is coming back to me...

Now I've been a health care worker for a long, long time, and I have 2 kids. My husband is a commercial fisherman. I know all about the smells.

I was going to name all those smells, just for fun, but I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say, up until that moment, arterial blood was the number one badness on the list.

Let me tell you, this was the worst smell I have ever had the misfortune to sniff. I barely made it to the sink, and I was standing right next to it. And I never, ever 'lose lunch', my body will not give up the calories! My record was way, way longer than Seinfeld's.

I flushed the nasty thing, and couldn't eat for hours. (That's a first, for me.)

So, what about the beginning of this 18-pack of eggs, the ones we ate for Sunday brunch? What about the rest of them? Is it a fluke? One bad one that got through? And how does that happen?
The eggs on Sunday seemed fine, nobody is sick yet. I cracked four more when I felt up to it a few hours later, and they seemed ok. I decided it wasn't worth worrying about. I threw them all out.

We are walking on eggshells, here!

I'm putting this at the end. Don't look if you aren't brave. (The kids made me take the picture, right before I bleached every surface of my kitchen, and Thing One lysol-ed the entire first floor of the house.)



  1. omg! I am ready to run to the sink!Do you think that black thing was a bird or chicken of somekind?
    You should have sold it on EBAY ... lol... Miss you guys like crazy!
    Auntie Kissy

  2. ya. inquiring minds want it spelled out. you know, for the super "ewww" factor. is that an unfortunate chick?

  3. eek! That is horrible. glad it was you and not me, I would have given up my lunch at the first wiff of it. I have a very weak stomach when it comes to bad smells. :X