Take a deep breath

...'cause you're going to need to calm down. Get yourself comfy in a chair with calming tea, or strong alcohol- whichever floats your boat.

And please, please put all sharp objects away. 

I have been involved in a tv show.

And, (OK-brace yourselves...think warm, fuzzy thoughts-)

I can't tell you a freaking thing.

Nada.

Nothing.

You okay?

I'm so sorry!!!!!

My HUMBLEST and HUGEST apologies. 

Just move on to the next blog. Seriously, I'll understand. 

Oh Dudes! You know my involvement with anything results in Spectacular Spills, Fabulous Faux-pas, and Calamitous Calamity! And I did not disappoint!

And I was meticulously documenting these actions in my head to share with you.

But, alas, there was a release. Which I signed.

So I shall; indeed,  must, comply.

Just so you know...I tried for you, I really did. 

I asked for a special release ('cause I'm so special), not from all of the legal tender, but to blog my end of things. And the Bar Harbor Times, for whom I write a weekly column, wanted to publicize the involvement.

We're small-time here.

I was told they'd look into it.

Le sigh.

So...

are you totally pissed?

Am I going to have to change my name, quit blogging, move to France?

'Cause Dudes, I won't know what to eat there!!!!