Friday, January 21, 2011

Old Dogs and New Tricks

It's snowing.

Like, a lot of snowing.

Which suits me juuuuuust fiiiiiine, because I'm sacked out on the couch doing my best Peggy Bundy impersonation, snitching leftover chocolate covered cherries and knitting.

You socks. The Heavily Cabled socks. I am in love.

It took a whole day in which I invented two completely brand new cuss-words to 'get' the whole Cabling Without A Needle thing down.
There was pain.
There was frogging.
There was ripping back so intense, that I went all the way back to the cast on. 
Yep, that bad.
Then, there was a practice session.
In which I made this:

Because only a true moron attempts to cable without a needle on a brand new, fairly intricate pattern on size 0 needles with fingering weight yarn.
And I am that moron.

Enter size 9's and the fattest chunky weight in the stash. Viola!

Turns out, the biggest obstacle was the pattern. Oh, not how it was written- that's impeccable.
It was charted. 
I don't chart. I didn't know that.

One whole frustrated and rather bitchy day later, I stole the Things' colored pencils, and attacked that chart like it was the map to Bin Laden's hideout.

Perfect! Color coded and Visually Stimulating.
And that was it folks, I can barely put these down. Despite covering the Post Office the last two days, I am completing the turn of the heels (two-at-a-time, on magic loop).

It's, like, the most fun you can have with your pants on.

On a side note, doesn't my manicure look lovely? I like my nails to be well manicured; it makes my middle finger look so much better when in use.

So, to recap:
Two new cuss words.

Jay1 offered to pick the things up from school, saving me a ride in the snow. (I actually like driving in the snow here on the island. There's very little to 'bump into', unlike Boston. We have some fun!) 
I snapped up his offer so I wouldn't have to explain to anybody that the van (The Big Guy's ashore with the truck) is pretty well stuck in the driveway. Whew! Dodged that bullet! Stellar driving skills covered up!

And then the kids walked in the door, and Thing Two is all FREAKED OUT that he forgot his math homework and he's going to be expelled or tied out to the flagpole for a whole day in sub zero temps...
Naturally. I'm going to have to dig that van out after all. Insert new cuss word here!

Don't tell The Big Guy: I'm toying with the idea of pulling out the 4 wheeler to plow out the driveway, against his express orders not to touch anything mechanical in the garage.

HIM: I'm not taking the 4 wheeler, but don't touch it. Just leave it in the garage. Do Not Touch the 4- wheeler. (totally unreasonable)

ME: But it's supposed to snow Friday, and then turn frigid and it's all going to freeze and then you won't be able to plow it on Sunday. (totally reasonable)

Don't make me steal parts off the thing so you can't use it. Just: Don't Use It. Please. Please don't touch the 4 wheeler.

But it's going to snow, like, a lot. I'll need to plow out the van.

YOU don't plow out the van. YOU shovel out the van, if you have to. Don't touch the plow!

Yeah, yeah, mumble, grumble, insert cuss word number two here, growl that you never see HIM shoveling out the drive, groan, mumble, cuss.

I didn't technically agree to anything, right?

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