Spas and Such

I have a new Happy Place.

It's my shower.

I'm loving my shower right now. Though it's far, far from grand, it is clean. Sparkling, even, because that's how I roll.

My favorite thing about my shower? I can't hear the phone when I'm in there.

And I don't bring the cell phone in there, either.

It's a freakin' phone-free oasis!

It is the one time of each and every day that I am completely, utterly inaccessible.

It's heaven.

I hate my phone. I want to disconnect the landline; I want to disconnect it very, very badly.

Every single call on that line is a task for me to complete. Every single call begins with the words "I need you to...".

(I get BIG points for not cutting people off and finishing that sentence for them. Just sayin'.)

Seriously. I can't remember the last time somebody called to Just Say Hi.

I'm tired of being needed. Need someone else 'to'.

I'm not answering that phone anymore. People are beginning to notice.

It's been about 3 weeks now. The answering machine answers, but I have the volume off, so I don't hear it. And I'm not listening to the messages.

And I get in the shower, where I can't hear the phone ring, and I wonder what people are thinking.

Do they think I'm dead?

Away for an extended vacation?

Do they wonder if I've finally snapped?

(C'mon, I live on an island. With 28 other semi- deranged adults. It's just a matter of time.)

And I wonder these things in an odd, disconnected way. A calm way. Not my usual frantic, obsessive Worried Things Aren't Getting Done way. I like this new way much better.

The cat used to climb up on that answering machine. It's electronic; it gives off heat. She used to sleep on it. She died in January.

I love not hearing that phone.

I love my shower.

I'm pretty sure I'm disconnecting that phone.