I may have just experienced a miracle.
Or a Freak Of Nature. Actually, if it was a miracle, I'm entirely let down, and well, kind of peeved (nicer way of saying 'Highly Pissed Off'), because, well, you'll see.
Way back in January, I did something to my knee.
What I did was kneel on it, and my knee said something entirely unrepeatable in polite company and refused to work correctly for a few weeks.
This has everything to do with the size of my ass, and not much to do with the fortitude of said knee.
Poor thing hasn't been right since. There is creaking and groaning and crackling, and sometimes a little popping kind of sensation.
Being the Master of Denial (I live on a rock 8 miles out to sea, y'all, and hate boats), I found some extremely effective ways of dealing with these symptoms.
I crank up the ipod.
And I don't hear the noises.
This works well for cars, too, should you want to adopt my system.
Just a little bit ago, I stepped out of the shower.
Yes, I routinely shower around midnight.
And I slipped.
Somehow, I didn't break my neck. And Thank God and Al Gore* there were no cameras to document the sight.
And whaddaya know? My knee feels awesome.
There's no clicking!
Is it a miracle?
I'm going to go with Freak of Nature. Save the miracles for cures for Cancer and Diabetes, and Substance Abuse, where we really need them.
By the way, I can totally almost do a side split.
I know! I had no idea, either.
There is every chance that I will wake up in the morning with a leg that belongs on an elephant, black and blue clear to my hip, and completely unable to walk.
But for now...I rejoice!
*I'm so used to thanking God and Al Gore for the internet (because, you know, Al invented it and all) that I add Al in there all the time now. I know, it nauseates me as well. Need to break that habit, pronto.