Enjoy!

I dig this out every year...and I would love to credit the author, but, alas, I came across it in a random email about 10 years ago, and have no way of knowing from whence it came.

And it may just be my disturbed sense of humor, but I think they get funnier every year!


CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED


1) Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And
Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And
Fire Hydrants And...........

5) Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are

6) Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us

7) Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better
not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why

8) Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Blls, Jingle Bells

10) Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave
My House

11) Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House
in My Slippers and Robe

12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I
Burned Down the House

13) Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

14) Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's
Snowing!!!


p.s. I can place myself in 7 of the 14 categories on any given day. So much fun!

Cute Things

The stilettos came. I have no words.

They are...they're...just....gorgeous!

And, sniff, I only got to hold them in my hot little hands for a moment, when I realized they are 4 inches and my Options are 5 inches and I never thought to measure because they looked like they could be 4 inches...
and they don't fit in my hand.

I could probably get used to the inch less...maybe.  (Ladies, do I even have to make the joke??)

So. I emailed. Can we switch these out?
Absolutely. Get new ones out to you in short order.
Awesome!


In the meantime I am distracting myself making super-cute things like this:



My kingdom for a red pompom! We scoured the house; no red yarn, no pompoms we could steal off something else. I had to send it off pompom-less. So sad.


To go on a super-cut thing like this:




Guess which one I wanted to keep.

It's that time again...

     Last night I went to bed rather late. I was tired. (I'm re-writing a pattern. Why? Because I liked the pattern, but it's an adult size, and I need it to fit a kid. And to add insult to injury, it calls for fingering weight yarn, and I want to use worsted. So, really, I'm writing a pattern. Just nod your head and pass me that wine bottle and nobody will get hurt.)

   So it was late. I was frustrated, I had just found out that I cannot count to ten, a fact I've lived my entire life not realizing (but yarn does not lie. Oh No. It does not.).

I found myself in the kitchen. (This is nothing new. I'm like a  homing pigeon.)
I couldn't remember why I went to the kitchen, so I browsed around a bit. Out of sheer habit, I started to make a cup of coffee. It was 3am. I had no intention of pulling an all-nighter, so I didn't need coffee.

While putting away all the coffee paraphernalia, I spilled sugar on the counter.

Now brace yourselves, because this is highly unusual for me:
     I left it there.

I did. I walked away. I was so tired I was stumbling, and I hadn't reached that place in the pattern that I wanted to (failure...), and I couldn't think or see...so I just went to bed.

This morning, I came downstairs to find the kids hunting for something. The pillows on the couch were overturned, a laundry basket had been rifled (grrrr), and they were both attacking the bookcases with gusto.

Fearing multi-legged critters that would facilitate the hasty hiring of a U-Haul, I screamed, "WHAT!!! WHAT IS IT??!!!! SHOULD WE CALL SOMEONE????!!!!!!!!"

Thing Two looked at me like I have six heads and said, all calm-like,
 "Henry's back. We're trying to find where he hid."



Oh, Game ON, my little ones.